More Ethiopian Food

Anna and I had Ethiopian food for the second week in a row! We ate dinner at Dashen Ethiopian Restaurant in Minneapolis Friday night with my co-worker Fasil and his girlfriend Eleni pictured above. Fasil and Eleni are both from Ethiopia so it was great to get some tips on how to eat the injera and wat from someone who really knows what they’re doing! We also enjoyed asking them questions about Ethiopian culture and history. We’ve now been to three Ethiopian restaurants in the Twin Cities and there are still a few more to try. Anna and I both really enjoy the food and I’m hoping we (or Anna!) can learn how to make some Ethiopian dishes so we (or I) can start eating it at home.

We’re excited to be making some more forward progress this week. We will be going to our agency (Children’s Home Society and Family Services) on Wednesday morning to have our first meeting with our social worker. Our understanding is that we will spend 3 – 4 hours reviewing the homework Anna and I submitted a few weeks ago. The homework included 10+ pages written by each of us including our personal bios, parenting philosophies, multi-racial family planning, finances, religion, etc. It’s quite an extensive process and our meeting Wednesday will allow our social worker to get to know us better and ask us questions based on what she read in our homework. Assuming all goes as planned, we will have a second meeting with our social worker in our home on March 23.

Thanks for reading,
Grant

Traditional Ethiopian Dinner

Grant and I had dinner on Friday night with another couple who are adopting from Ethiopia at an Ethiopian restaurant called Addis Ababa in Minneapolis. We've eaten at Ethiopian restaurants a handful of times and, honestly, we are really fond of the food. We do realize that it looks a bit like baby food but the combination of spices is very good. Most of the food isn’t spicy, but it is all very flavorful. The different piles of food (Wat) are on bread called Injera. Injera is made out of a grain called Teff, which is a staple in Ethiopia. Utensils are not used so you tear off a piece of the Injera and pick up the Wat with the Injera.

We also enjoyed Ceremonial Coffee after dinner which was quite a production. It took a long time for the preparation but it was definitely worth the wait. If you want to read more about the Ethiopian Ceremonial Coffee, click here: http://www.citypages.com/databank/20/986/article8122.asp
(Warning: this is a long article about coffee production and its history. Page two has the description of the Coffee Ceremony at Addis Ababa Restaurant)

The couple we ate with on Friday night is about a month ahead of us in the adoption process. It has been great to hear what they have gone through so we know what to expect. Please continue to pray for patience for us and for protection and care for our soon-to-be baby.

New York Times article

The attached link has an in-depth article about the plight of orphans in Ethiopia. This article was written by Melissa Fay Greene and was originally published in the New York Times on December 22, 2002. It is quite lengthy so if you are interested in reading it you may want to consider printing it out first. This article is very sobering, but there are glimpses of hope and humor as well.

http://melissafaygreene.com/pages/afraidsorph.html

Why are children available from Ethiopia?

In a previous entry, Anna answered the question, “Why Ethiopia?” Another logical question is, “Why are children available for adoption from Ethiopia?” Most Ethiopian children awaiting adoption have been orphaned due to poverty or illness. While HIV/AIDS is a major contributor, it is not the only disease that takes the lives of Ethiopians. Malaria, typhoid, parasites, pneumonia, and malnutrition all contribute to the death rate of adults and children. While most of these health concerns are preventable or curable by Western medical standards, the same care is not always available to many Ethiopians.

We learned at our pre-adoption class that children are highly valued in Ethiopian culture. Rather than tending to their own needs, parents will first make sure that their children have been fed even if that means there is little or nothing left for them. The lack of nourishment or other personal care can make the adults more susceptible to illness and disease and can lead to their deaths. Another contributor to the number of orphans is the high maternal mortality rate in Ethiopia. One in fourteen women dies in childbirth compared to one in 2,800 in the rest of the world. Life expectancy for males is 39 years and 42 years for females.

We are saddened that many Ethiopian children can not be raised by their birth parents, but we are excited to provide a loving home to the child God has planned for us.

Thanks for reading,
Grant

Erica and Aliyah in the Boston Herald

Erica (our social worker friend who first told us about the Ethiopia program) and Aliyah got their picture in the Boston Herald the end of December! There is a brief article about some families from the north east who have adopted from Ethiopia. (In my opinion, the article is much too brief!)

http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=59696

Grant and Anna with Aliyah

Grant and Anna with Aliyah from Ethiopia. (please see the post "Why Ethiopia?" to learn more about Aliyah)

Adoption Study Dates

Great news! We heard from the social worker assigned to us today (Rebecca) and we were able to schedule our two adoption study dates. We will be meeting with Rebecca at the Children's Home Society office on March 2nd and then in our home on March 23rd. Both meetings will be in the morning and will last between three and four hours.

Agency Information

We are adopting through Children's Home Society and Family Services located in St. Paul, MN. CHS was founded in 1889 and has a long and respected reputation throughout the country. They are one of four agencies in the United States who are certified to work in Ethiopia. Since we decided to adopt from Ethiopia prior to selecting our agency we feel very fortunate that we are able to work with an agency located in the Twin Cities.

CHS has a great website with a lot of information about the Ethiopia program. My favorite part of the website is the photo album to see pictures of new babies and children who have made it home. The website is http://www.childrenshomeadopt.org/Ethiopia_Adoptions.html

Timing/Schedule

Frequently we are asked when we think we might be traveling to Ethiopia to meet and adopt our child. The short answer is, “hopefully this summer.” I have detailed the Ethiopian adoption schedule below so you can see what we have done and what still needs to be completed. One benefit of adopting from Ethiopia is that the process is extremely fast and moves quite smoothly (from everything we’ve heard). So, here’s the possible schedule/process below:

December 2004: turned in application to Children’s Home Society and Family Services

January 20 and 21: attended a two day Pre-Adoption Class (PAC) to help teach us about adoption issues, the process and get to know others who are adopting through CHS.

End of January: write essays about ourselves, our background, parenting strategy, cultural awareness, etc. WE JUST FINISHED this homework and I will be turning our essays in on Monday (February 7th)

February: complete and turn in United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (US-CIS) paperwork. This is previously known as INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service). I should be able to gather and turn this paperwork in on Monday (February 7th) as well.

February/March: Meet with the social worker assigned to us 2 or 3 times. This is oftentimes known as the Homestudy, but now is more commonly called the Adoption Study. CHS focuses on educating parents and in the Adoption Study we are not being “judged” but they are instead looking for areas where we may need additional training or education.

March/April: Social Worker writes up our summary and we assemble dossier to submit to the Ethiopian government.

April/May: Referral of child made, referral reviewed/accepted, dossier submitted to Ethiopia, dossier accepted

June: After referral is made and accepted and dossier is submitted and accepted, travel can take place four to six weeks later!!!

Of course, we know that these are OUR plans and schedule but that God may have us on a different schedule. Regardless, we know that God already has chosen the child (or children) that we are going to have the privilege to parent. This gives us great comfort when thinking about the future.

One additional note:
The courts in Ethiopia close the month of August and the first three weeks of September so while we would ideally like to travel in June we are praying that we would be able to complete our travel sometime before the month of August.

Respectful Adoptive Language

Words are extremely powerful and the way that we talk about issues such as adoption “can reflect maximum respect, dignity, responsibility and objectively about the decisions made by birthparents and adoptive parents” (from an article in Perceptive Press by Pat Johnston). Here are some examples that can help as you are talking about adoption to others:

1. When talking about a birthmother
Negative
“The birthmother is giving up her baby for adoption.”
Positive
“The birthmother has made an adoption plan for her child.”

Negative
“The birthmother has decided to keep her child.”
Positive
“The birthmother has chosen to parent her child.”

2. When talking to adoptive parents
Negative
“Do you have any children of your own?”
Positive
“Do you have any biological children?”

3. When talking to someone who was adopted
Negative
“Have you met your real parents?”
Positive
“Have you met your biological parents?”

4. When introducing adopted children to others
Negative
“This is Bill and Sarah’s adopted child.”**
Positive
“This is Bill and Sarah’s child.”

**Calling out the way that a child joined a family is not necessary. People wouldn’t consider saying, “This is Bill and Sarah’s birth-control-failure child.”

Four Adoption Terms Defined
By Rita Law
Natural child: any child who is not artificial
Real parent: any parent who is not imaginary
Your own child: any child who is not someone else’s child
Adopted child: a natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.